VERY QUEER: Uganda moms defy anti-gay law to support children

Andrew Wasike

In a country where identifying as gay can result in life imprisonment, and "aggravated homosexuality" carries the death penalty, some parents are defying the law and society to stand by their queer children, offering support where the Ugandan state offers only punishment.

Among them is Mama Joseph, a mother from central Uganda, whose son came out as gay at a time when being openly gay could carry life-threatening consequences.

Her voice doesn't quiver. For her, the connection between queerness and African identity is not contradictory. She's never left Uganda. Neither has her son.

"People say queerness is un-African, but I know that's not true. I didn't raise my child on foreign TV, where some claim he could've 'learned' to be gay," she told DW. "He did not go to boarding school, where others think such things happen. I raised him right here, very African and he is very queer."

Her defiant tone challenges a widespread belief in Uganda that homosexuality is a Western import.

"So, when people judge us, I ask myself, what exactly do they mean by 'un-African'? This journey hasn't been easy," she said. "Being an African mother to a queer child comes with pain, with isolation. But I'm proud of my son."

She added that some relatives have threatened her, and neighbours have avoided her.

In living rooms across the east African country, some parents have chosen love over fear, including Mama Arthur, who shared her path to understanding with DW. "When a child opens up about their sexuality, it's not easy at first. For many of us parents, the beginning is the hardest. But as time goes on, you start to walk that journey together and you get to know your child on a deeper level, and they get closer to you." Her openness represents a shift among some Ugandan families, where a new generation of parents is rejecting traditional dogma in favour of closeness and honesty.

The mothers' advocacy doesn't stop at home. They speak out in public forums and community gatherings, even as doing so puts them at odds with neighbours, churches, and sometimes the extended family.

Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni signed the act into law on May 26, 2023, despite global condemnation. It triggered waves of arrests, mob violence and evictions, with dozens of LGBTQ+ Ugandans fleeing to neighbouring countries like Kenya, or going into hiding.

Yet amid this repression, courageous parents are breaking cultural and religious norms to stand with their children in private living rooms and in whispered conversations. Mothers like Mamas Arthur and Joseph are resisting not with placards or protests, but with love.

Further south, in South Africa, a country where LGBTQ+ rights are legally protected, but social stigma remains, similar stories are emerging.

Mama Thandi, a longtime advocate and caregiver to queer youth, has spent more than a decade offering support to those rejected by their families.

"Because even though South Africa is a progressive country, we have a whole lot of queer people who are being raped, killed brutally, and some are being disowned by their parents, some commit suicide, some have issues of mental health," she said, adding that the contradiction in society is hard to ignore.

As the second anniversary of the law approaches, these women are quietly rewriting Uganda's story one child at a time, one act of defiant love at a time. They say it's not a revolution of crowds but a revolution of mothers.