Mother's Day Special: Balancing dreams, guilt, and motherhood in digital age

CHENNAI: For ages, we have believed that our mothers always know what is best for the kids and make the right decision. But have you ever thought of the pressure a mother goes through to always be right and the weight she carries along with it to balance both career and family?

The new-age moms have more problems to think about. The growing presence on social media is again adding to the guilt of the new mothers of not being the best. “Most of the families are getting converted to the nuclear format, and both parents are working now. The issues of work-life balance, information overload and social media influence are among a few challenges the mothers are facing now,” starts Sunitha R, a certified parent educator from Parenting Matters. She also adds that with the overwhelming information, young moms are confused about which information is right.

It should be noted that peer pressure through social media is also an add-on. “On social media, people portray only the good things and no hardships are shown. Moreover, the relaxation of ‘Me-time’ also fades away. They have to work, manage and take care of the child and family, and also live up to the high standards set on the internet. These might increase the inferiority complex among young moms and lead to guilt and self-doubt. The stress piles up and they feel helpless,” Sunitha elucidates.

Overcoming the challenges of high expectations

It all starts with acceptance. Accepting the fact that humans make mistakes and that mothers are also humans is crucial. “Learning is the key. And it is important to accept our mistakes and apologise to the child. In that way, we make amends and also be a role model for the kid to be a better person,” adds the parent educator.

Family’s support, most importantly, spouse’s support, is essential for career-oriented mothers to balance their personal life and work, and ease the burden. “We all should understand that a mother’s dreams and desires equally matter. From the mom’s side, just monitoring the kids won't suffice. Spending quality time helps the child in feeling connected, heard and will also push them in opening up without any hesitation. This will, in turn, support the mother both mentally and emotionally. That bond is crucial,” she explains.

Trusting the process

Knowing where to keep a check on the enchanting world of social media will significantly help. “Like how we reduce the screen time of kids, mothers have to control their screen time as well. A day off from social media could also help in spending quality time with their kids. Overall, moms should accept and remind themselves that the posts and reels they watch on social media are just a small part of reality,” Sunitha suggests.

She also asks young moms to trust themselves and go with their gut instinct. “Believing that you are the best parent for your child and keep learning in the process paves the way for a better life. And lastly, there is nothing wrong with seeking help,” she concludes.