A cultural reawakening in Tamil wedding rituals

CHENNAI: Once deeply rooted in Tamil literature and culture, traditional Tamil wedding rituals have undergone significant changes over the years. Today, extravagant celebrations with Mehendi and Sangeet functions, borrowed from North Indian customs, have become popular among Tamils as well. However, there is a growing movement to revive indigenous Tamil wedding practices that date back centuries.

Interestingly, this renewed interest is more evident among Tamils living abroad than those in Tamil Nadu. “It’s an opportunity for them to reconnect with their indigenous roots, which they may not be as familiar with,” says Supanki Kalanadan, a Canada-based lawyer. Historian Meenakshi Devaraj adds, “In Tamil Nadu too, a few people have started showing curiosity and are asking questions about our native traditions.” In this feature, DT Next explores what ancient Tamil weddings once looked like, how they faded over time and how they can be meaningfully incorporated into modern celebrations.

When Supanki Kalanadan’s family moved to Canada from Sri Lanka, she knew very little about her Tamil roots. It was her mother who introduced her to some traditions while she was growing up. “I wanted to understand our history, and that curiosity gradually became a passion. I became deeply interested in the ritualistic aspects of Tamil traditions. As I did more research, I realised we had such a rich indigenous culture, much of which has been forgotten,” she says.

With her legal background, Supanki approached the subject with a focus on evidence-based research. “A lot of people say Tamil culture is great, but don’t go deeper into it. I wanted to read and study what scholars have written,” she says. Her research took a personal turn when a friend, whose partner is Guinean, asked for help planning a wedding that celebrated Tamil rituals without being overtly religious. That moment marked the beginning of her efforts to curate weddings inspired by ancient Tamil customs.

“I found that these traditions were very practical. Especially for those in the diaspora who have little exposure to them, this was a chance to connect with Tamil literature and history,” she explains. She spent months studying how weddings were conducted among ancient Tamils and realised that even something as simple as the garland exchange is one of the oldest known rituals.

Her primary sources include classical Tamil works like Tolkappiyam and Kuruntokai. She credits iconic Tamil writer Tho Paramasivan’s Ariyappadaatha Tamizhagam as a major influence. “I’m not saying we should follow everything exactly as it was. But we can incorporate one or two traditions meaningfully: like the worship of the five landscapes (ainthinai), ancestral veneration, or nature-based rituals focused on water and land.”

Supanki believes these elements can be woven into modern weddings without clashing with contemporary aesthetics. “The setup and backdrop can be as familiar or modern as one likes. We can avoid using deity images and focus on values and symbolism that remain relevant today,” she says. For example, she highlights Silambu Kali Nombu, a pre-wedding ritual where a young woman’s anklets (silambu) are removed by her parents, symbolising her transition from maidenhood to womanhood. “It’s a Sangam-era tradition that marks her departure from her parental home and entry into a new phase of life. But I don’t conduct the ceremony traditionally. Instead, I adapt it to reflect gender equality by asking both people to bless both partners to be faithful and loving to each other."

She also reads aloud Sangam poetry during ceremonies and provides translations in simple Tamil and English so everyone can understand. “Many NRI Tamils don’t speak the language well, but are still eager to preserve the traditions. Even partners who aren’t Tamil are open to learning when it’s presented meaningfully,” she says.

Another tradition she’s working to revive is the use of the parai, a percussion instrument historically associated with both celebrations and mourning. “The parai has unfortunately been limited to death rituals due to caste politics. But traditionally, it was used throughout life’s milestones. I want to bring it back in auspicious contexts by playing parai music at weddings or inviting parai artists, depending on the couple’s budget.”

Historian Meenakshi Devaraj has also noticed a subtle shift in interest. “Just like how people are going back to giving their children Tamil names, some are starting to explore old wedding customs. Many have asked me about the types of flowers used in ancient weddings, or about rituals they can include today,” she says.

However, she notes that these changes are happening slowly and in isolated pockets. “Right now, there’s a strong trend of high-cost weddings with functions like Mehendi, which aren’t traditionally Tamil. These are at their peak now. But once the novelty wears off, I believe there will be more space for indigenous customs to resurface.”

Some couples are already choosing to have Tamil hymns like Thevaram or Tiruvempavai sung during the thaali tying ceremony instead of light music. “Modern and western traditions are still dominant, but it will be interesting to see how the younger generation blends the old with the new,” Meenakshi adds.