I am very much an Indian mother, says lawyer Natasha Conlon

You’ve lived and worked across California, the UK, and Chennai. How has your perception of Chennai changed over the years, especially now that you call it home?

I first came to Chennai in 2001, and the city has undergone significant changes over the last 25 years. At the time, there were only a handful of 5-star hotels and restaurants serving Western food. The traffic was much lighter, with far more Ambassadors and bicycles than Kias, Hyundais, or Fords on the road.

In general, I think when someone enters a new city, it's with curiosity and wonder where everything feels new, different, and exciting. Over time, as it becomes home, it brings with it all the emotions associated with the idea of home.

When our daughter was little and we returned from a family holiday in the West, the moment we landed at Madras Airport, she would immediately say, “I’m so happy to be back home!”

What aspects of Chennai’s culture were the most surprising or enriching to you when you first moved here?

I love the sense of family and community that exists in Chennai, and the quiet dignity of the people here. I appreciate how children are so well looked after, cared for, and welcomed in most social settings. Education is clearly valued, and that’s something I admire deeply.

I also love that people here have faith in God; it’s seen as something normal and positive. There’s a sense of acceptance and tolerance toward people from different faiths.

A fun fact: I loved Bharatanatyam and even tried taking classes for a year when I first arrived. I was in a group with children, and I still remember my teacher shouting, “Sit, Natasha, sit!”

Madras Week is about celebrating the spirit of the city. How has Chennai shaped your identity over time?

Raising two children in Chennai, I have very much become an Indian mother and all that that entails, from taking my children to chess lessons and tournaments, various other tuitions, and emphasising doing well in academics and good moral values. I am definitely not a permissive Western mother. I feel very fortunate that I was able to spend a significant part of my children's childhood being a stay-at-home mother to nurture them, and that in Chennai, I didn’t have to feel guilty or embarrassed about that.

Your son speaks, reads, and writes both Tamil and Hindi. How did your family approach integrating into local culture and languages?

Both our children started school at Kids Central (KC High) as toddlers, and I think meeting other parents, raising children together, playdates, and just doing life with other families helped us form lasting friendships and a strong tie to the community. Being in a local school and taking Tamil classes helped my son learn the language, that, and listening to the radio on the way to school and tuitions.

What was it like raising children in Chennai as a cross-cultural family? Are there any particularly ‘Madras moments’ from their childhood that stand out?

My children have an Irish father and an American mother, were born in England, and have grown up in India. They are both very much children of the world, but I often joke that my son is the opposite of a coconut: he’s white on the outside but brown on the inside.

One of my very good friends was born in India (she is of Indian origin) but grew up abroad. As a little girl, my daughter could relate to her. She would say, “I am like Auntie Reena, but opposite because I was born in England, but am growing up in India.”

Because my children were so young when they came to Chennai, they adapted very well - it’s all they really know. It’s the only real home they’ve ever known.

Do you find that Chennai is becoming more inclusive or cosmopolitan, especially for families like yours?

That is definitely our experience. We have an amazing group of friends here (I don’t think any of them can be called expats, some are NRIs). I think people have gotten to know us and accept us for who we are. To be honest, sometimes I forget that I’m not Indian.

If you were to describe Chennai in three words based on your journey, what would they be and why?

That is really hard! Home is definitely one word, because that’s what it has become for our family. Warm and friendly, because we’ve made so many friends who have become like family. And culturally rich, because I’m always blown away with wonder and awe at the cultural richness of Chennai.

What advice would you give to other expats or NRIs thinking of making Chennai their long-term home?

Have an open heart and an open mind and it may become one of the most enriching experiences of your life.